so today was very long. i cant believe i actually pulled myself to get up early and get to school to practice. i dont know what is making me so determined right now that i want to practice so much. but thats all i want to do. sad part is…i practiced my saxophone all day. im not even a saxophone major. maybe if we could add another 5 hours to the day i could use those for oboe. i need to find a balance and get back on track with my oboe practicing. maybe im going thru a phase where i just want oboe to be enjoyable instead of so stressful as it always is. we’ll see what happens. anyways. its soo cold! how did this happen?! i kind of like it tho. i dont really like it when its hot. because that involves sweating. and sweating is gross. haha. well i have so much to do! i am so forgetful! i need like a person to stand on my shoulder and give me constant reminders of all the things i need to do. life is so stressful! ahh! i need to go to bed soon, my eye lids feel like they are made of lead…sooo heavy…
weekends go by so fast. i cant believe its sunday night already. i really wish being a musician wasnt so demanding sometimes. it really does take a lot out of you. running from lessons, to teaching, to playing gigs to practicing. it never ends. but i guess i cant really run from it. it all helps create a better musician out of me. i just want to be able to take a nice vacation somewhere fun and relax. not have so many things lined up to go from this to the next. time needs a pause button for that, that way i dont start losing my skills too. oh well, i guess that comes when you retire. until then. work.
i guess because im so used to being busy, that when i do have time off its weird and i like need to go out and do something, see friends, go explore, eat food. just go out! but maybe im too ambitious, maybe i need to just sit at home and chill. but thats boring! hmm idk. i guess thats what TVs were made for. i wish i was home sometimes because i would be able to go out every night and have things to do. i wonder if after college ill be back home. its crazy to think that the weekends go by fast when years go by fast! next semester i will be a junior! then only a year after that ill be done with my undergrad! (hopefully…maybe not at the rate im going) but still… thats crazy. well enough of that, i guess i should just make use of this time right now and…figure out what i am going to have for dinner!
i dont think i coudlve had a worse week. first i tear a tendon in my finger and cant play for a couple days, then i get sick….then find out im doin pretty bad in most of my classes, then probably will end up not taking the biggest audition of the semester that i worked so hard for. i guess things happen for a reason. i just hope this one in the end turns out to be a miracle in the end.